Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize