Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
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dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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