he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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