He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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