hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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