when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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