I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
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When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
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Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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