Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize