This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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