i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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