My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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