i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He felt like a one man threesome
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
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I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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