I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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