I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
