God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize