this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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