I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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