We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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