I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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