How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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