i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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