The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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