marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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