do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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