I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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