Sober January is a disaster.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can I color on your dick again?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize