bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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