I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
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Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
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You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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