Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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