Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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