I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize