I have demons in me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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