can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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