She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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