shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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