why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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