So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
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Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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