Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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