It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize