You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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