We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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