idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize