im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
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His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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