I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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