We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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