Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
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Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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