i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
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it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
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I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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