My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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