I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize