Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize